Thursday, April 28, 2005
This:
Is why on earth you should never use this:
It says, and I quote:
Get a healthy looking (THAT is what healthy looks like?!?!) glow with Neutrogena instant Bronze sunless tanner and Bronzer in one.
The sheer bronzer provides a hint of temporary, (The joke here is of course the words "hint" and "temporary") natural (LIARS!) looking color immediately upon application, and allows you to see where you've applied it to eliminate the mistakes. (*cough*bullshit*cough* What you look like is that you are in full black face when you apply it.)
The sunless tanner develops a natural-looking, (if you call rings of white in the creases of your neck fat natural) golden tan-not streaky (uh huh) not orange.(According to my thorough research which included me opening a box of 64 crayons, this is actually called Burnt Orange) Developed especially for the face, the lightweight, non greasy lotion absorbs quickly and dries in less than 5 minutes.
What they don't tell you is this "temporarily" dries permanently. And all I have to say is thank God for Mary Kay. That and the knowledge that I am further educated in the fact that red-haired, white-skinned Irish Indians have no business trying to tan. No matter the method. Posted at 03:30 pm by Shalovee
 | | | calla
May 12, 2005 08:16 AM PDT
i suppose it's just me, but you don't look bad at all... except your neck looks a couple of shades lighter than your face. | |
| | | Meg
May 2, 2005 06:22 AM PDT
Yep, dye your hair green, add a bunch of black mascara and eyebrow pencil, and you'd be an Oompa Loompa! | |
| | | Shalovee
April 30, 2005 07:33 AM PDT
There is no way, Either I am white, or I am red, never sun kissed tan. NEVER. So, like you, every year I try to get tan not by the sun, no-but by these productes. And I haven't found one yet that didn't humiliate me. | |
| | | mellowyellow
April 30, 2005 03:13 AM PDT
I come from a long line of red heads, i know the feeling but never learn, every year i try sun bathing, every year i look like a demented lobster | |
| | | Shalovee
April 29, 2005 07:40 AM PDT
Meg, the pic is back up. I edited it to show less boob. Not because I have a problem with my ample boobage, but because the shirt looked funny the way it was hanging open.
Now if I could only do something about my googly eyes...
Seriously. I was looking at my daughter and my eyes trip me out in that picture. | |
| | | Meg
April 29, 2005 07:28 AM PDT
Awwww....no picture! But I'm sooooo picturing you as an Oompa Loompa!! | |
| | | Cyli
April 29, 2005 05:33 AM PDT
Wow, this could NOT have been timed better. As you know (since your a redhead too) tanning is almost impossible for us redheads.....and during the last week of being sick in bed I toyed with the idea of trying the tanning lotions stuff.....
Your last sentence talked me out of it: "That and the knowledge that I am further educated in the fact that red haired, white skinned Irish indians have no business trying to tan. No matter the method."
So noted, thanks for posting this hun! Have a great day!! | |
| | | Shalovee
April 28, 2005 09:09 PM PDT
To hell with the pictures Bran, send the product! | |
| | | branbran
April 28, 2005 08:35 PM PDT
oh sweet girl! get some facial wash with skin scrubby thingys in it...exfoliate.
my mom just gave me sunless tanner stuff for my birthday. it is by Avon and looks totally and completely natural. i will send you a pic of me soon to show you. i recommend it. | |
| | | Soyunperdedor
April 28, 2005 06:24 PM PDT
You are a strange duck. | |
| | | Shalovee
April 28, 2005 06:17 PM PDT
Hey soy, go screw yourself. But let me watch-okay?
Anyone who is white as a ghost has tried to make themselves a beautiful dark skinned beauty.
We are a dumb bunch, we whities. | |
| | | Soyunperdedor
April 28, 2005 06:08 PM PDT
I hate to be cruel, but i figured "you posted it".... the title and the second-to-last line of the entry say it all!
And not to add insult to injury, but.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG! You haven't had a gin-oo-wine Shalagh moment in a long time. I am still laughing (sorry). This damn near ranks up there with lanolin in the hair. Holy crap!
All I can say (well, obviously not ALL I can say) is man, vanity - and let's not kid ourselves here, we know what it is - can make ya do some real shtupid shtuff. I thought redheads were supposed to know these things about themselves. OMG! LMFAO!!
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