Yom Kippur is now at hand! Woot! Woot! So here is yet another installment of the festivals as celebrated by Shalagh. When we last tuned in it was Yom Teruah, and Yhwh who is the greatest God to ever God had blown the shofar and came on down to gather up his home boys so we could eat apples and honey together while playing bingo.
Then ten days go by from there and during those ten days you are supposed to be getting right with God. If you have done somebody wrong then you should be saying you are sorry, if someone comes and apologizes to you then you should be accepting that apology and forgiving them. For reals forgiving them, not just faking it to fool God, because He knows. He always knows.
And sometimes some grade A deluxe SOB from your past shows up out of the blue and says he is sorry, and he really, REALLY apologizes to you and let me tell you that it feels better than you think it will feel. It feels really good. Seriously, really good. But it also really tests your whole belief of the you-have-to-really-forgive-and-not-fake-it thingy you just preached about.
So, you have to consider that.
You have maybe even imagined this day many, many times and you have even planned all these really snappy rude things to say back to him, and really just STICK! IT! TO! HIM! Because it is going to be allllll about getting even should you ever get that chance again, and you seriously mean it too. For reals. Revenge is what it is going to be about.
You maybe even have spent a lot of time in counselling over this relationship, and you came up with all kinds of evilicious things to say and do to him because the counselling wasn't working all that well at the time. I am sure everyone has some boyfriend or girlfriend from their past that was a jerk. Or maybe you were the jerk. I dunno, but usually someone has that black sheep kind of relationship.
You know how it goes. Things didn't go well at all during the relationship, maybe they even cheated on you, and maybe even more than once. Maybe it was a violent relationship full of jealousy and rage, abuse and name calling. Maybe you even shot him in the naked butt once with a BB gun when he got out of the shower and paraded in with nothing but a smile on because he wanted to chase you, and shake his thing at you, and be gross again because he thought it was funny but you were sick of it. So instead you stood behind the door and began pumping the gun up as soon as you heard the water shut off because so help me Lord, if he shakes that thing at me one more time I will shoot it off.
And he does. And I did. And then I ran like hell.
And maybe your parents were worried sick because you once were sweet and full of life and laughter, and now all you do is cry and yell and slam doors and hide bruises with long sleeve shirts.
And maybe once you did something stupid like sneak out of the house and all you wanted to do was feel and be felt, but that wasn't the reason he was sneaking you out and "No" didn't work. And "stop" didn't work. And "I don't want to do this" didn't work, and nothing made it stop except for him being done doing what he snuck you out to do.
And maybe that act bred secrecy, and that secrecy bred shame, and maybe from then on you were not good to yourself, nor to anyone else around you, and you became very sick because of all the pressure, and pain, and stress, and hatred, so much so that your parents took you and locked you up in a mental hospital because no one knew why you were literally falling apart at the seams.
And even that didn't heal you.
But one day years later you were talking it all out with Yhwh and He asked if you were done punishing yourself and hating your ex boyfriend, and if you were ready to be healed and healthy and free and all that good stuff that Yhwh promises to do, and for the first time in 13 years you said Yes, you were done, and Poof! You were!
He did the thing He does when he repairs broken hearts and puts people back together and sews up torn souls and somehow He even manages to make you ten times better than you were before you became damaged goods. Which is why God is the best God to ever God. Because he does things like that. He takes all your brokenfullness and erases it like one of those nifty magic erasers.
So he has these Festivals that come around every year so you can keep yourself on the right path, and He can help you get your act together if you started to backslide because He wants his Home boys happy and working for Him full time with all the benefits He has to offer. God has a hell of a retirement plan.
And maybe one day he will test you and He will have that black sheep boyfriend contact you and ask you for forgiveness and really write a long email telling you that he was a giant ass and he is really sorry for all of it. That's when you know if you really are the forgiving kind, or just full of it and preaching the good sermon to whoever is bored enough to listen-kind.
And much to your happiness and gratefulness you find that forgiveness is all over the place and it is all like the bad things never happened. Nothing in you hurts anymore, you aren't angry about anything anymore, and you are really glad that he had the sack to look you up and apologize.
And that is what Yom Kippur is all about. The whole I forgive you, thing. The whole get it all right with God, thing. The whole Thanks God for healing me, thing. Because you have to be all of that to be ready for the next festival, which is Succoth. That's when we will tabernacle with him and hang out in the succa eating yummy things while dancing, and playing bingo, and he doesn't want any bitter, pissed off people at His party. So he is all willing right now to help you clean up all that inner junk you have from whatever black sheep experience you have had. And come on. EVERYONE has had SOME KIND of B.S. experience.
And believe me, it feels a lot better than you ever imagined it would when it is over, and He can do it all right now if you are willing for Him to. And I would suggest it because if you want to play at his next party, you have to get it all together at this one.
Just sayin'.
Posted at 12:01 pm by Shalovee
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Kathy BoBathy
October 12, 2005 04:02 PM PDT
Can we get a "woot! woot! hallelujah!?"
Although, I do have a suggestion. You should put some sort of disclaimer warning at the top of blogs like this one. It should go something like this,
"If you are someone who reads something touching, sappy, sad, or mushy and you start to get all gushy and then your eyes fill up with tears, and then they slide down your cheeks, and then you start sniffing and then stifling those ugly crying gurgles, and then you are just bawling all over your keyboard to the point that you have to go get a mop to clean up your computer desk AND your husband is sitting 12 inches behind you AND your kids are also playing in the same room, AND you don’t like crying in front of them, THEN DON’T READ THIS RIGHT NOW, and if the stars are all aligned so that you are also starting your period and your crying hormones are on over drive in the first place.....THEN DON’T READ THIS AT ALL FOR A WEEK."
Anyway, it should go something like that. Just a suggestion. ;)
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