To pee or not to pee....again
The ocean trip
14.July.2003
by Shalagh Knight
My kids and I went to the beach last week. The weather was perfect. It was a glorious 75 degrees with light breeze. The beaches are public here in Oregon, so it is never crowded and we had plenty of room to play. It was hands down the most beautiful day of this summer. I laid in the sun for about an hour nursing an iced coffee with chocolate and hazelnuts.
The waves on the Oregon coast are much wilder then other places. Usually it is too rough to swim in the ocean, because of it being to cold and to choppy. This day it was perfect. The kids and I waded out and found the water warmer then usual. This caused the man that sits in my bladder watching things to push the you-touched-water-so-you-must-pee-NOW button. I ignored him. I decided to give my kids a thrill and wade deeper out. The waves are now above knee level and this is a decedent thrill for my children. They have been threatened with a fate worse then death if they ever wade out past their ankles. My son lays down and plunges face first into wave after wave. My daughter, more timid, kneels hanging on to the bottom of my shorts, floating around in the waves. She splashes me and the man goes nuts on the gotta-pee button. He, obviously tired of poking it, begins to jump up and down on it. I now begin some serious thinking of my options.
The bathrooms are a good three quarters of a mile hike away. Then you deal with the lines, the sand, and the wet clothes. Or....I could pee in the sea. Now in order to pee in the sea, I must pee my clothes. If I pee my clothes, I must be submerged in the water at least to my waist. If I submerge myself, I might as well throw caution to the wind and swim. But if I swim, what can I do with my purse, that I am wearing on my back like a backpack? I mentally sift through its contents and realize getting it wet is a no-can-do. Also, I am wearing my new watch my son gave me. If I get it wet, I will ruin it. All this logical reasoning were mulling over and over in my head, all the while my latte would like to make a reentrance in the world. My children are really enjoying their ocean playtime and here I sit, pondering responsibility and whether I should give my coffee a burial at sea or not.
Then my decision was made for me. My son, looks up from where he was swimming and says to me, "To bad your old and can't swim with us. Oh to be young again- huh Mom?"
"Boy, swim over here by me." He heads over and I squat. I smile at my boy and I pee into the sea.
