Re-runs are fun, aren't they? Yes they are. I mean, it's new to most of you, innit?
There are many circumstances that arise that try to keep me from cleaning my house. Today it was my bellybutton. This is a more serious problem then you think. I hear you rolling your eyes at me. Stop it. Don't judge me.
My navel is pierced, and it started to hurt me. So I take my ring out, do the soak and scrub, and reinsert. That is when the real trouble started. It really began to hurt. Every time I would sit down it will feel like I was ripping the damn thing out. I would fiddle with it, and the pain would go away. I would stand up and same thing happened. All day of working around little kids with my hands down my pants, twiddling the ring, finally got to me. I was afraid to sit, stand, or bend over. And I knew what I would come home to. A mess. A big festering mess.
So I came home, with my navel sending out shock waves of pain, and thought to myself-Self, you gotta do something. So I took the ring out again. That is when I found the problem. Seems when I screwed the jewel back on, I actually screwed it to my skin.
*blink*
I actually screwed the damned thing to MYSELF. The ripping pain I had felt all day, was in fact me ripping my bellybutton. How do I not dumb myself to death? Kinda reminds me of the time I did a little self surgery on my finger, but that story would only make me look bad. And I don't want to lose your respect.
Or attention.
So now I have a bloody hole where my bellybutton once stood. What to do? This house needed some attention. All the bending and stooping was going to be very uncomfy. Hmmmm.....what could I do? And then genius hit me!
And genius rarely ever does that to me. Dumb hits me up all the time, sure. But genius? Nuh huh.
So I got the rake, and I raked my house up. I shame me. Totally Hoboken of me, don't you think? I should be so far above this, but I am not. And so here I was, Raking all the stuff up into a big pile. Toys, books, clothes and hay. Yes, hay, because I live in that kind of house, all got raked into one big pile. I scooted the garbage can over, sat my ass down, and cleaned.
I do not know what this says about me, but I am sure it involves many words like eccentric, nutty, pathetic, and pitiful. I don't care. I think it was pure genius!
My animal room is clean, my kitchen is clean, order is restored. My belly button is on the mend, and once again sports a flashy, jeweled ring. Which is important. Plus I have this much (pinches fingers together smaller then a tear) pride in myself that when my bellybutton rose up to defeat me, I overcame it.
Even if it was with a rake and a garbage can.
Posted at 07:07 am by Shalovee
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mellowyellow
January 31, 2005 10:49 AM PST
ooooch! You should have seen my daughters eye brow when her daughter pulled out the ring! She had to have 2 stitches in hospital, she didnt learn, had the other eye brown done the next week and now has everywhere possible done ( so she tells me..) You have a lovely blog |
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ShaLovee
January 31, 2005 10:40 AM PST
A touch,
You don't have to be young or thin to pierce yor belly button. I did mine 2, maybe 3 years ago, and at the time I weighed more than 199. And I am 34, so kiss the it-is-wasted-on-the-young idea goodbye. If you want it, and you like it, you should get it. It doesn't mean you have to show it to anyone. Only one man has seen mine. And only a handful of other people, mostly being family members. |
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A Touch of Style
January 31, 2005 09:34 AM PST
Well it is a first time see for me and enough to make me give up the idea of ever having my belly button pierced... that and the fact that you have to be about a zillion years younger. But, have to admit, I didn't see the reason coming. Never occurred to me.
:) |
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ShaLovee
January 31, 2005 08:31 AM PST
Soy, dude. Don't beg. Relax, let me go and get the pickle sauce. There is still some left over from the last time. Or is it the popcorn that is still left? Oh it doesn't matter. You aren't finicky. When it comes to me, I mean. God bless ya' ;-) |
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Soyunperdedor
January 31, 2005 08:06 AM PST
Since I have seen this one previously (and even published it!!) - and I do love it by the way - let me just get this out of the way:
OMG! U R 1 hot red head, and you have a navel ring!?!?!?! OMG, i am, just like, so wanting to eat you up with a spoon! with pickle sauce! like, for reals! U R so hot!! Like, sizzlin, even. uh ma gawd! |
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