In just one more installment (actually the first of many to come) of "my old parents are funnier than your old parents" we have my mother. This is the
same Mother whom to humor me once got into a fist fight with a treadmill and ended up bruised, bloodied and almost pantless, but I will admit it did cheer me quite a bit. Man she loves me!
Anyway, My mother has for years been a little...um...confused. Like she would put glasses on the top of her head, forgot where they went and then yelled at us kids to find them which, one day we finally wised up and stopped looking. Apples really don't fall far from their trees, apparently.
Anyway for years it was simple forgetful things like this. And every one does these things-right? I mean hell, even one day I show up for work with all my make up on sans mascara. That is a big deal when you are a white skinned, blond-eyelashed redhead. And once I was in school walking down the hall and I felt something in my pant leg. So I keep walking down the hall while shaking that leg to work whatever it is down and out, and what I shook down and out was a pair of my sisters underwear.
OMG!
Somehow in the laundry they got inside the pants and I put those pants on in a hurry only for these underwear to make their grand entrance into the world right in front of Mr. Deets who taught shop class. That can ruin a middle schooler. But I was smooth man, smooth! I just shook them out and kept on truckin'. No one ever knew they came from me because I am just! that! cool!
So for year we enjoyed slight absent mindedness from my parents, nothing too major but we girls all knew what this really meant. It meant old age was gonna be a freaking blast! And that day ladies and gentlemen, has arrived. This was told to me by my sister Heather. (just pointing that out so mom knows who to REALLY get pissed at. I mean, how can someone tell me this and expect me not to write it?! Come on!)
So my mom was talking to my sister Heather on the phone when my mom needs to put the phone down for a second to do something and all the sudden in a real far off voice my sister hears my mother saying:
"Okay, I'm back. Heather? You there? Hello? HEEELLLLOOOOOO??? Heather!! Where did you go?"
Then a slight pause and then a loud "What the hell?!"
My mom then puts the remote control down and picks up the phone and confesses to Heather what she has done.
The thought of my mom talking loudly into the remote control sends me into hella fit of giggles every time I think of it. I mean, once I saw on Americas funniest home videos a old woman take a microphone supposedly to give the bride and groom her blessing, instead she puts the mic up to her ear and orders the chicken. Like this was some call in food place or something. I looked over at my mom and just laughed my ass off because I knew....oh yes, I KNEW that one day my Mama would do the exact same thing.
And God bless her, she once again didn't let me down.
Posted at 07:34 am by Shalovee
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Meg
April 1, 2005 01:16 PM PST
Hmmmmmmm...
I've got a tripod. *grin* |
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Shalovee
March 31, 2005 09:30 PM PST
Oh no babe. Super crunchy honey roast. Just think of it like...um....minature speedbumps. Yeah that's it, speedbumps.
Now...I wonder who we could get to hold the camera? |
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Meg
March 31, 2005 08:44 PM PST
Yes, lets! But only if it's creamy peanutbutter...I think chunky could get a bit uncomfortable! |
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Shalovee
March 31, 2005 12:41 PM PST
Awwww Meg....I lurve you! Lets roll around in a vat of peanutbutter and see what happens. What say you? |
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Meg
March 31, 2005 08:36 AM PST
It works ok in Internet Explorer. I hate, hate, HATE Internet Explorer. *sigh* I guess you MIGHT be worth it, though. ;) |
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Meg
March 31, 2005 08:34 AM PST
I can fix it...but to do so causes the font to be so tiny I can't read it. :( |
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Karrie
March 29, 2005 06:50 PM PST
This isn't reall about my Mom, but she told me that one of her teachers in high school would pick up a piece of chalk thinking it was a cigarette and attempt to smoke it.
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Chrissy
March 29, 2005 01:12 PM PST
LMAO tooooooo funny ! My mom did and said some pretty silly things when she was alive too. Shes been gone a little over two years now and I still sit and think of her often and smile at all the weird things she would come up with. Enjoy your mom while you can sweetie. Hold on to every memory tight and steadfast. Thanks for the smiles and giggles.
HUGS,
Chrissy |
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Shalovee
March 29, 2005 08:41 AM PST
Meg, I had that same problem. But the problem isn't my site, it is how your puter is set up. Supe? Can we have some help over here? Can someone tell Meg how to fix that problem? I used to have that same trouble and it drove me INSANE! It is fixable though.
Can someone tell her how??! |
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Meg
March 29, 2005 08:25 AM PST
Ya know, I love to come here to read what you've written...but this layout drives me nuts. LOL I have to scroll back and forth to read the text!
Anyhow, my mother once told me she had to walk across the sand to get to the beach. And then there was the time she read the tv while dad watched a book. Generally, her slipups are just like that...little word things. But that's ok. I'll take mom-slip-ups wherever I can get 'em! |
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